Now more than ever before, our lives seem to be constantly changing. Changes in jobs, people, relationships, politics, technology—well you get the picture. So, who and/or what can you depend on? Rely on? Who will give you reliable information? Where can you turn? Who will save you?
You are the person you have been waiting for. No matter what happens in your life you are the only permanent person, place or thing. You are real and the primary person in your life you can trust to make you happy, to feel safe, to feel whole. The one who can and, if given the opportunity, will provide you a life where you are not just living-but thriving!
When you were very young, you were free-flowing aliveness, but then you became contracted by the social norms and conditioning you took on as you grew up. You began to tighten your body and you escaped into your mind, becoming a human doing (rather than a human being), always trying to fix, change, get rid of, and figure out. This has kept you on the surface of life. When one has let go of that great hidden agenda that drives humanity and its varied histories, then one can begin to encounter the immensity of one’s own soul.
In truth, people are the most temporary thing you will ever come into contact with. Do not allow temporary things or people to become your source of dependence or happiness. Whether you are crying at three am or overly ecstatic about your achievements, you will be the only one who can either pick yourself up celebrate for you know how far you have come.
Our first love and last love is self-love. I learned that self-love is everything in life. It should be the goal you try the hardest to achieve and your number one priority. Loving and accepting yourself involves many things, but most importantly it’s being comfortable with who you are. It is when you look in the mirror and fall in love with your insecurities. It is when you realize all you need is you.
This desire for someone to come rescue you or wave a magic wand over your life is never a conscious thought. Your consciousness is way too sophisticated to fall for that. Usually this avoidance takes the form of a vague longing for some easy, “Magic bullet” solution or the perpetual postponing of dealing with an issue. The capacity for growth depends on one’s ability to internalize and to take personal responsibility. If we forever see our life as a problem caused by others, a problem to be “solved,” then no change will occur. Today, you have 24 hours sitting in the palm of your hand, you have infinite possibilities that you can move forward on. Are you still waiting?
“… if we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin.”
– Ivan Turgenev
Here’s the thing — when you wait, you are not just “doing nothing.” There is a real danger in waiting — because waiting for “something” wastes your time. We often think there is a “right” moment to begin, as if all the stress and obligations in your life will melt away…and it will finally be just right, the exact “right” time to begin. The real truth is there is no “right” moment waiting out there for you tomorrow or someday. Get over the belief that you have to wait for “someone” or “something” outside of you to take the first step in changing your life. All you need to do is feel a desire inside that this is the right time for you.
What if you really believed you were the one you have been waiting for? Sit back and allow yourself the luxury of thinking about how that might feel in your life, relationships, family, work, mind and your heart. You are the one and this is your right moment. All you need to do is feel a desire inside to know that this is the right time for you.
NOTE: Repost from my Capital City Hues newspaper column from June 2016.